Marks of Motherhood

Hello new and seasoned mommies,

Grab a snack and/or drink  because this is a bit of a novel.

Before my husband and I got married we sat down and wrote out where we saw our lives going in 5yrs, especially the goals we wanted to complete. I had thought about getting my masters since I had already completed my bachelors and he wanted to go to vet school. The plan was to wait until I finished my masters and work for a year before having kids. Yet it never felt right. I threw around different careers thinking maybe that was the problem.

My husband still had 2yrs for his bachelors and an additional 4yrs in vet school. It was a long road ahead of us. I decided to just apply for a teaching job near my husband’s home and started working there after we got married.

I constantly thought about where we would go in 2yrs for school. Since there were no vet schools in our home state I knew we would be out of state for 4yrs, at least. I worried about being all alone when having our first child and not having any family around. I really didn’t’ want to wait 6yrs to start a family either. Summer was just ending as well and I knew I did not want to be pregnant over the followimg summer. On a whim we tried, our first and only attempt, it worked.

I missed my period and was anxiously waiting. The stick turned positive so fast it seemed and I was in shock. We were excited though! Overall my pregnancy was fairly easy and I worked up until the week I had him. My coworkers made fun of my waddle and my students all wanted to know how the baby comes out….I stuck with my student’s answer of me popping like a balloon (haha)!

I thought for sure my son would come early since it was common for so many in my family. I had all of my lesson plans, copies, and end of the school year party done weeks in advance. Our house was ridiculously clean and the hospital bags were packed. He was due the last day of school but had no interest in coming anytime soon. I hadn’t taken any vacation time so I decided just to take the final week of school off to rest and nest 😉

I kept reorganizing the same things over and over. I made half a dozen freezer meals and quickly ran out of things to do. My best friend took maternity pictures for us and I was getting so excited!

I had plenty of Braxton hicks and false labor but no real signs of him coming. I paced the floor/rug in our living room every night for almost a week.  72hours before he was due I had my membranes stripped and lost my plug that night but nothing else happened. My sister came with me to that appointment and was so excited thinking she would be the first to know but had to return home. 24hrs before I was due I had them stripped again. I was already upset they had gotten my hopes up the first time.

When nothing happened that night I didn’t know what else to do. My husband and I decided to go on a hike the following morning, my due date, and I loved answering the question “When are you due?”— “Oh you know….TODAY!” (face of distress). My husband tried to get me not to  go far but I was determined and had been hiking during my whole pregnancy! I was tired when we got home but nothing changed.

That night my husband’s family was having a party and I really didn’t want to go. Luckily our home was on my in laws property so we didn’t have to travel far. I sat through all the “You’re still here comments!” and wished the night away. I had exhausted my internet browser looking up any glimmer of hope it might be soon.  My husband and his brothers went to celebrate my brother in law’s birthday afterwards,also next door, so I joined in.  They were playing video games and I was talking with my sister in law. I guess I had been making weird faces and she started timing my facial expressions. Finally she was like “I think you’re in labor” My wise husband didn’t question it and just dropped his controller, grabbed our car and the bags, and we were off around 10pm.

The hospital was 45min away but I wasn’t too worried about it being immediate. When we got there I was assured it wasn’t time and felt helpless. I didn’t want to go back home with it being far away and my contractions were at the time they said to come in. So I paced the hospital floor, in a stylish robe, and my husband tried to keep my mind off things. They eventually let me rest in an extra IV room  but I could not fall asleep. Around 2am I was groaning in pain. They checked me and since I was almost at a 4 they admitted me.

I could not get myself to relax though. I wanted to go naturally but hadn’t taken any of the classes and with work didn’t read over much material. My cousin had suggested using their birthing pool so I got dressed and went in there. I couldn’t stand the pain from the contractions though and called my Mom crying. Finally at around 5am and still only at a 5 I decided to get an epidural. Unfortunately the man who was going to do it seemed young and immature… I signed the paperwork but he mentioned the guy coming in afterwards had done it since he was in diapers so I decided to wait.

At 6am I requested the epidural and they said he would be on his way soon. At 7am my water broke…. it popped and gushed just like a balloon while I was laying on the bed. I was in excruciating pain and asked for the epidural once again. He finally came about 20min later. I was so tired and relieved. I slept for 3hrs!!! FINALLY I progressed to almost a 10 so they woke me up to push. He was born just after 11am. I chose not to get an episiotomy though and ended up with a 3rd degree tear. My midwife spent more time sewing me up than delivering  the baby.

I remember having him placed on my chest and being so concerned that he was purple but also in disbelief he was here. They said we needed to monitor  when he first peed and pooped but he quickly did both on me (ha!) I was exhausted!

He was just over 7lbs of pure perfection.

Side note: I seriously suffered with hot flashes the last month of my pregnancy and after delivering. I sent my husband to find a fan when everyone else said our room felt like an icebox. It was even hotter  crowded with all of our visitors but we were so happy.
The day we were suppose to head home I went in to take a shower. My husband was helping me but quickly went to answer the door for my best friend and her mom. I bent over to dry myself and the next thing I remember was my husband and nurse hovering above me while I was on the floor. My nurse asked me why I didn’t push the help button and I was like “are you serious?” My best friend’s Mom said my husband freaked out when he heard the loud thud and felt so guilty leaving but I felt fine before he left. My nurse wouldn’t have known but just happened to walk in when it all happened.

They took my vitals and drew some blood. Once they got back the results they let me know I was anemic and 0.1 away from a blood transfusion. They should have already known this when I came in.  I knew my iron was low throughout my pregnancy but had taken the pills and they made note of my blood type (A-).  Luckily they just asked us to stay another 24-48hrs. We left around 36hrs. I was so ready to go home!

Postpartum was rough. I couldn’t walk normally for 4-6 weeks. I was so sore because of my tear. I suffered with depression on and off for almost a year. I felt completely unprepared as a mom.  However I was so grateful to have family nearby, so grateful for friends, so grateful for time to myself, meals that were brought over, and words of encouragement that were given. I made it through his first year and he has been my best little bud ever since 🙂

Babies truly are a miracle and I sit in awe every time I think back on it!

Happy delivery friends!

p.s my daughter’s delivery was the complete opposite (posting later this week!)