Hello fellow stay at home parents,
Any of you feel like this!?
It has been a long year for me. I never realized the amount of depression that follows after someone dies. It makes postpartum depression seem like nothing but that’s where it all started.
I have never felt depressed before having kids. Sure I felt lonely, sad, angry, or resentful at times but most of the time I was pretty carefree and happy.
My sweet little brothers still think I’m laid back and adapt well to new situations. Which I still try to do but life has a way of getting you down sometimes.
I worked hard in my teenage years and graduated with a 4.0 at age 19 from ASU. People valued and respected my opinion. I was given lots of opportunities and I enjoyed being around people. There were good and bad interactions but I loved my career.
Although I’ve worked on and off since having both my kids the interaction just isn’t the same. My full time job consists of raising descent human beings with the constant feelings of failure. I don’t get a pat on the back for most of my efforts. A lot of what I do goes unnoticed. My kids follow me everywhere and naps don’t always happen.
It’s hard spending your day on the go with activities, cleaning, cooking, teaching, and discipline. There are never ending piles of laundry and no matter how many times you clean up the house there are always toys on the floor.
If you’re a stay at home parent you get where I’m coming from… if you’re not its mostly good I promise 😉 All the sweet moments, hugs, kisses and “I love yous” make up for it. As your kids get older they become more concerned about your well being. All the positives are just hard to remember when you’re exhausted and lacking patience during public temper tantrums.
Anyways… I was feeling pretty defeated. My best friend (Molly) came to stay the weekend with me in January and we jokingly talked about going to Disneyland for our 25th birthday (we share a birthday and had planned to go at 18). We shared the ingenious idea with my husband and he was completely on board. We made all our reservations and waited anxiously for 3 months.
The night before I flew out I was having mixed emotions. I was going to Disneyland without my kids and felt a little guilty. My husband turned to me and said “Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty, you deserve this!”
I boarded the plane on Sunday and left the kids with my family. Molly and I left around 10:30am on Monday. We got our nails done and arrived in California just in time to grab dinner and go to the beach.
Tuesday we were at California Adventure 9am-6pm and our feet were dead. We still managed to make it to the beach for dinner to watch the sunset. Wednesday we strategically planned our route for Disneyland that involved the least amount of walking. We indulged in more tasty treats this time since it was our actual birthday. Thursday morning we spent at the beach, notice a trend, and then made our way back to my parents.
There wasn’t necessarily anything that really stood out to me on this trip. Molly, unmarried, has stuck by my side during all the ups and downs of mommyhood so I was glad we had a chance to reconnect with less distractions.
Mommy guilt was huge when I saw all the kids excited to enter the parks but quickly faded once they got cranky 😂 It was so nice to eat, sleep, and do whatever I wanted…whenever I wanted! We could jam out and talk in the car. Didn’t have to make any stops. Didn’t have to find a quiet place for naptime or share all of my food. It was a much needed reset for my brain.
Once I got back to AZ my son stayed glued to my side the rest of the weekend. He joined every lunch/dinner date with friends. I loved it though! He tells me all the time that I’m his best friend. If that doesn’t melt your heart I don’t know what would 😍
If I could take a trip like this every year I would! I encourage everyone to take a break from life. You can save up and make it happen! We do mostly day trips and ocassional weekends with our kids but it’s worth the memories.
My husband and I have talked about doing couples vacations once or twice a year after he graduates.
Anyone have a favorite vacation spot or cruise? We’ve been to Argentina, Costa Rica, Alaska (cruise), six flags/beach in California, camping, cabin in Payson Az and snowboarding in Falstaff AZ. Love outdoorsy stuff but open to anything fun stateside or outside of U.S. 🙂
Happy potential vacationing,
Marks of Motherhood 